literature

Valentine

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XshudderinyoursleepX's avatar
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Literature Text

we started in july
simple conversations
though i shared things about myself
most people haven't heard.

between then and now
we talked in brief spurts
for a few days at a time
because i was willing myself
to let you text first
it never really happened.

but its been about a month
possible more or less
but i couldn't care any less
because you're here,
and our conversations have changed.

i told you my many anxieties
and you didn't turn me away
you shared a few of your own
and some broke my heart.

you told me how you were brought down
but you pulled yourself up
with what seemed like little help
it was better than anything i've ever done.

you've told me i was "amazing and generous"
for what i thought a simple act of
kindness? perhaps more of love?
but it made me feel like i could do something
maybe pull myself out finally.

i haven't told you yet
how i'm really a hopeless romantic
with a bad attitude.
with countless, impossible scenarios
buzzing around in her head.

ones that are for the movies
that don't happen this reality.
they continue their buzzing anyway
despite the bruises
they've forced me to place on my hands

at each football game
i'd see you near the dance team
and catch your eye every time
and smile a bit brighter.

so one night i wrote you a poem
a simple 10 lines
of the want
to hear my voice
after cheering for you
on the sidelines
of a football game

you thought i was insane
to be so nice,
to think of you in that way
but it seemed like nothing to me
just something i knew you'd like

when i asked you the secret
to how you made me feel bliss
something i never knew before you
you told me that i already knew
and that if you told me,
my grace and natural-ness
in the ability would be gone.

so i said okay
and blushed
because the bliss was back
and i still didn't know how
but i was okay.

you've helped me with anxiety
when it was at its worst,
i've helped you
try to lessen a guilt
of past and present

i don't want this to just be
another brief spurt
i need this to last
i think i'm getting attached to you
i'm sorry about that.

even though you won't be here later
would you like to be mine,
my valentine, if you will,
for the hours left in this school?
giving this to new muse tomorrow. more like putting it in his locker and having the worst anxiety for the rest of the day..
© 2014 - 2024 XshudderinyoursleepX
Comments1
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Felicia-Neko's avatar
awww this is so beautiful! :) He will be sooo lucky!!